listening to: nothing. again.
you're so confusing. i look forward most to those times at night when we 'tuck each other in' and you'r the last one i talk to. it's hours on end. it's addicting. like, im not doing my homework becuase im talking to you for so long. i find myself wanting to stay on forever until you go to sleep. i want to call you all the time. and i enjoy calling you up and talking to you. and im happy that you want to call me up too. but you're so confusing.
school comes and sometimes you just pass me by. but when you decide to actually say hi to me, its like we were never like that. you hug me tight and warm. you really care for me, listening to me and giving me advice. we're always the first to IM each other when we sign on. and you cherish what i give you. but it pains me when you do that to me at school. if im happening to not be looking at you, you pass right by me, and all i see is your back. and i want to go up to you and hug you, but you're so uptight on your guard. and just push me away. even if it's reflex, it still hurts.
this is why i can't see myself in a relationship with you. frankly.
its hard being in such close friendship with you. but i still want to be your close friend.
i dont get you, you know that? ive known you for three years now. but its like i dont know you at all. but at the same, time, we know each other better than most friends do.
honeybuns, i know how you feel now. i wish i knew what was going on in that head of yours. :l
so confusing.
everyone has thier rough patches. get better. please. i dont know waht else to say. but all things can be ammended, even if they seem like they cant. only the most heartless of the heartless will never forgive. is that person really like that? that's all i know what to say.
About Me
- Allyson Wong
- Allyson Yee Wong. i used to have more personal stuff here. but due to stalkers, i must reedit. i love everything from sushi to photgrapy. music is equal to my life. can't live a day without it. favorite thing to do in my spare time? walking the world when it's at its darkest and most quiet hour. visit me @: patienceandtime.tumblr.com
After what I went through I can honestly give you this advice:"don't just settle with just being friends when you feel like theres hope." I regret so deeply that I didn't try as hard as I should've. It hurts and no one else should have to feel like that. There's no garuntees that things will work out. Its a leap of faith and that the beauty of it. Its like throwing yourself out there with no garuntees, and that's what lifes about. What's life without a little risk? Its boring and pointless. 'Whatever the mind can concieve it can achieve. But you have to make it happen, you have to believe^__^' I know its scary to put yourself out there, and if you get stepped on that means there's someone so much better than him out there. But you have to try. Don't you want to know? I was too scared to do anything and look where it got me. Don't be like me. And don't wait for him or the world to do anything for you. If you want something, go for it. The worlds not gonna do shit for you. He doesn't know, he can't read your mind, he can be as clueless as a dumbell. Don't be scared, just breathe. Sometimes, you have to do things on your own to get what you want.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the passing by without a look thing, that's happened to me. You just have to trust your instincts and not be bothered by things like this or they'll start to tamper with your future relationship..
ReplyDelete