listening to: Broken Man, Boys Like Girls
stalkers! you! and you! stalkers everywhere! *wilson, maggie. maggie is ok, becuase i love you! wilson's another story though. wierdo. scary! haha. jk. it's cool. you caught me off guard though. i was like, wtf? haha. anyway. it's cool that now i know all these people have blogs. makes me feel good we can all 'connect' like this. lovin it.
anyway. i got back at you. im following you guys now. im stalking you back. hahaha.
anyway. talk about dissapointment. i miss my bestie so much. my MOH. my smore. i miss you!!! i havent hung out all summer with you and i know you feel bad abou tthat. and i do to. i hella miss you. my life isnt complete without you. haha, you know my blog. you might read this, idk. anyway, i want you to know, you're always first in my heart. i miss you so much, when can i see you? haha. i hope your having a good summer though without me so far. with class and stuff. you said you felt we would become distant this summer. i hope not! i pray we dont. becuase my heart would be broken if that happened. i promise that wont happen if you try just as hard not to make it like that.
remember our promises to each other? we're each other's MOH. smores for life. our little retarded chant that i can't even remember. anywayyy, my child's name is patience. and you're NOT ALLOWED to rename her, alright? haha. we gotta keep in touch. we're making my family yours and your family mines. so we can be one big one! hope you read this. you always want me to blog about you, and here it is! love you! friends forever. our friendship will never fade.
June 27
listening to: Ocean Travel, Tearliner
stepping stones in a creek on a hot summer day. in a forest wild and free. the water is clear blue and crips and cold and tickles the soles of my feet, wet and shiny from the water. how about it. want to come with me?
ahhh, summer. im lovin it. :) adventures. i enjoy spending them with you!! haha, sorry, im being super corny right now. i had a whirlwind of adventures these past days. first i explored all of milpitas, which was great. i explored marsh road and was almost thrown off a mountain. all thanks to jessica's fantastical driving! i love you. haha! yeah...we should go to the top of the hill and look down at milpitas when its night. its so beautiful.
and warp tour! exciting. that was a day to remember. then we walked three miles down to fisherman's wharf. horrible to my feet, wonderful to my tummy. x) thank you though. we had a great time, didnt we? us three fosho.
i have the best friends. im so grateful for them. i wouldnt be who i am and writing these things if i didnt have you guys. :D
cheeeeesssssyyyyyyy. but enjoyable to write. fosho.
stepping stones in a creek on a hot summer day. in a forest wild and free. the water is clear blue and crips and cold and tickles the soles of my feet, wet and shiny from the water. how about it. want to come with me?
ahhh, summer. im lovin it. :) adventures. i enjoy spending them with you!! haha, sorry, im being super corny right now. i had a whirlwind of adventures these past days. first i explored all of milpitas, which was great. i explored marsh road and was almost thrown off a mountain. all thanks to jessica's fantastical driving! i love you. haha! yeah...we should go to the top of the hill and look down at milpitas when its night. its so beautiful.
and warp tour! exciting. that was a day to remember. then we walked three miles down to fisherman's wharf. horrible to my feet, wonderful to my tummy. x) thank you though. we had a great time, didnt we? us three fosho.
i have the best friends. im so grateful for them. i wouldnt be who i am and writing these things if i didnt have you guys. :D
cheeeeesssssyyyyyyy. but enjoyable to write. fosho.
June 18
listening to: Mad, Ne-Yo
you know, im very upset with you. you ask me to tell you straight out. if you know who you are. good. im more than upset. im mad. plain mad. mad like the song im listening to. except i dont care if you go to bed mad at me. you say that your hurt that im keeping it from you. well, here it is. do you realize who you really are? its upsetting everyone. its PISSING everyone off. i hope you dont read this. yeah, im a chicken. but still. i need to say this to someone. or something. your immature. your selfish. you dont give a shit about how other's feel. dont you? you think you do, but YOUR ACTIONS DON'T LIVE UP TO YOUR WORDS. you got to think of others sometimes. you say you try to change. you do. i admit. you do. but every. single. time. you ALWAYS go back. always always. its what Jennifer said. you are a brat. and i agree. your a flirt. the things you do around your friends. us. your friends. the ones who care for you and love you. you hurt us. i dont understand. are you doing this purposly? you hurt her. im not naming who. but you hurt her. you hurt me. you hurt so many of us. we love you and we care for you and we do so much for you. we try to help you. but what do you do for us in return? can't you try to grow up? is that too much to ask? i mean. look at how much we change. we change for everyone. for the better. we change FOR our friends. can't you try, i mean, just TRY. im saying you will, but will you TRY to change? its tiring. and i hate writing this. i say things are ok with us. but at the moment, im really close to my limit.
and you're nosy. whats the big deal, looking through everyone's text when IT'S NOT YOUR PHONE. its other people's property. you ask permission before using. i know what you've done. dont pretend you havent done anything wrong. i know you have. we all do. and i think that just leads up to what bothers me most about you. your lack of RESPECT towards all of us. we deserve more. alot more. maybe you dont know how to give it yet, but we give a bunch for you. and we expect equal amounts of respect in RETURN. this is what i mean to grow up. part of being mature is being respectful. and right now. im not seeing it. we're not your slaves. dont order us around. you may think you dont order us around, or critisize, but you do. try going one day without doing either! just try.
i can't be nice all the time. dont think that jsut because my facade is happy, i am. you have to care for me. and us. you dont throw people aside, or use them. that's exactly how i feel right now. you USED me. how could you? i was there when no one else was. are you pitying me? how dare you. you have NO right to pity me. im good now. i have the best friends ever. why are you going behind my back and inviting all the girls over to your place but not me? and talking about it in front of my face? how. dare. you. im not lying. that pissed me off. im not stupid. im not dumb. i know what your talking about. this is what i mean about equality. i invite you to so many other events and get togethers that you would have never have heard about or been wanted to, but i still invite you. becuase i didnt want you to be left out. i cared for you. i wanted you to have fun. i wanted you to get better. but what do you do in return? you go behind my back. you leave me out. and you smile and have fun about it. no real friend would do that. no 'best friend' would do that to thier 'best friend'. and even if you did invite me, i wouldnt want to go. becuase its really not worth it. im not crying and whining about this, im using this as an EXAMPLE of how you treat me. there are so much more i can say about how YOU PISS ME OFF. you pissed me off when you did that. you threw me aside. you threw me in the dirt. you used me. and yeah. im making this very personal. sorry. but it's what i feel. i have feelings too. why would you do that to me? that hurt me.
there is so much i can list about you. so so much. but im not going to list. if you read this. sorry. but im not going to stand here and say nothing as you hurt me and my friends. are you my friend anymore? that im thinking about.
you know, im very upset with you. you ask me to tell you straight out. if you know who you are. good. im more than upset. im mad. plain mad. mad like the song im listening to. except i dont care if you go to bed mad at me. you say that your hurt that im keeping it from you. well, here it is. do you realize who you really are? its upsetting everyone. its PISSING everyone off. i hope you dont read this. yeah, im a chicken. but still. i need to say this to someone. or something. your immature. your selfish. you dont give a shit about how other's feel. dont you? you think you do, but YOUR ACTIONS DON'T LIVE UP TO YOUR WORDS. you got to think of others sometimes. you say you try to change. you do. i admit. you do. but every. single. time. you ALWAYS go back. always always. its what Jennifer said. you are a brat. and i agree. your a flirt. the things you do around your friends. us. your friends. the ones who care for you and love you. you hurt us. i dont understand. are you doing this purposly? you hurt her. im not naming who. but you hurt her. you hurt me. you hurt so many of us. we love you and we care for you and we do so much for you. we try to help you. but what do you do for us in return? can't you try to grow up? is that too much to ask? i mean. look at how much we change. we change for everyone. for the better. we change FOR our friends. can't you try, i mean, just TRY. im saying you will, but will you TRY to change? its tiring. and i hate writing this. i say things are ok with us. but at the moment, im really close to my limit.
and you're nosy. whats the big deal, looking through everyone's text when IT'S NOT YOUR PHONE. its other people's property. you ask permission before using. i know what you've done. dont pretend you havent done anything wrong. i know you have. we all do. and i think that just leads up to what bothers me most about you. your lack of RESPECT towards all of us. we deserve more. alot more. maybe you dont know how to give it yet, but we give a bunch for you. and we expect equal amounts of respect in RETURN. this is what i mean to grow up. part of being mature is being respectful. and right now. im not seeing it. we're not your slaves. dont order us around. you may think you dont order us around, or critisize, but you do. try going one day without doing either! just try.
i can't be nice all the time. dont think that jsut because my facade is happy, i am. you have to care for me. and us. you dont throw people aside, or use them. that's exactly how i feel right now. you USED me. how could you? i was there when no one else was. are you pitying me? how dare you. you have NO right to pity me. im good now. i have the best friends ever. why are you going behind my back and inviting all the girls over to your place but not me? and talking about it in front of my face? how. dare. you. im not lying. that pissed me off. im not stupid. im not dumb. i know what your talking about. this is what i mean about equality. i invite you to so many other events and get togethers that you would have never have heard about or been wanted to, but i still invite you. becuase i didnt want you to be left out. i cared for you. i wanted you to have fun. i wanted you to get better. but what do you do in return? you go behind my back. you leave me out. and you smile and have fun about it. no real friend would do that. no 'best friend' would do that to thier 'best friend'. and even if you did invite me, i wouldnt want to go. becuase its really not worth it. im not crying and whining about this, im using this as an EXAMPLE of how you treat me. there are so much more i can say about how YOU PISS ME OFF. you pissed me off when you did that. you threw me aside. you threw me in the dirt. you used me. and yeah. im making this very personal. sorry. but it's what i feel. i have feelings too. why would you do that to me? that hurt me.
there is so much i can list about you. so so much. but im not going to list. if you read this. sorry. but im not going to stand here and say nothing as you hurt me and my friends. are you my friend anymore? that im thinking about.
and i want my stuff back. they cost alot. they're important to me.
i really hope you didnt read this. but what can i say? its how i feel. im a nice person. dont doubt it. ive shown you who i am. and this is my mad side. anger isnt permanent. this isnt how ill feel about you forever. and the fact i just wrote shows that i wont be mad at you forever.
June 17 part 2
listening to: nothing
thank you for posting that blog super banh. i think i really needed it. i need a few lessons here and there. idk if you wrote that for me, but i feel like that fit me perfectly. i especially get the last part. and the beginning. jealousy might come in later, which im afriad it might. lessons like these are great to have once in awhile. and i think i just might go back to your blog and reread again. becuase i need to memorize. thank you for telling me to read your blog again. its given me a peace of mind. if only for awhile. thank you. :)
thank you for posting that blog super banh. i think i really needed it. i need a few lessons here and there. idk if you wrote that for me, but i feel like that fit me perfectly. i especially get the last part. and the beginning. jealousy might come in later, which im afriad it might. lessons like these are great to have once in awhile. and i think i just might go back to your blog and reread again. becuase i need to memorize. thank you for telling me to read your blog again. its given me a peace of mind. if only for awhile. thank you. :)
June 17
listening to: make love(english ver.), big bang
couples dont always have to make each other laugh. they dont have to be smiling 24/7 and holding hands and holding each other. but....it would be nice if we did more often. it would be nice. mistakes are made. like laughing and smiling more with your friends than with you. i dont feel mad. or sad. i feel like im not living my part. im not a good gf. that's it. its exactly what im thinking. im not a good gf. i try though, but sometimes, i jsut can't help but think, what the heck am i doing?. im running around and trying to make you laugh and smile, but you say that i am already making him laugh and smile all the time. then why do i feel so insecure about it? tell me. tell me if something is wrong.
i had a great time though. UP was the best movie i've seen all year, and i enjoyed watching it with you. :D
friendship bracelets galore. haha! making many. :) i love these things!
couples dont always have to make each other laugh. they dont have to be smiling 24/7 and holding hands and holding each other. but....it would be nice if we did more often. it would be nice. mistakes are made. like laughing and smiling more with your friends than with you. i dont feel mad. or sad. i feel like im not living my part. im not a good gf. that's it. its exactly what im thinking. im not a good gf. i try though, but sometimes, i jsut can't help but think, what the heck am i doing?. im running around and trying to make you laugh and smile, but you say that i am already making him laugh and smile all the time. then why do i feel so insecure about it? tell me. tell me if something is wrong.
i had a great time though. UP was the best movie i've seen all year, and i enjoyed watching it with you. :D
friendship bracelets galore. haha! making many. :) i love these things!
June 14
listening to: Monster, 슈퍼주니어 (Super Junior)
goodbye seniors. ill miss you all. gosh. look at you guys. you guys are so mean that you make me cry. why are you leaving me like this? especially you. >:O why did you have to be concieved on valentines?? haha. that made me laugh when we were on that bed and i wasn't talking becuase i was so sad you were leaving. you make me laugh when im down. thank you. but that doesnt change that i love you and that im going to miss you so much. im going to miss being to talk to you whenever i want. im going to miss seeing you whenever i want. im going to miss seeing you after class ready to walk me to wherever we're going to go. im going to miss you. but im not going to keep you back. just make sure not to forget me, ok? im always going to remember you. and you'll always have a special place in my heart. as i hope i do in yours. goodbye. i know its summer. but it seems so close. goodbye soon. remember, no drugs. and like you said. experiment. and that's ok. just dont do the experimenting that will hurt me.
i love you! lets spend as much time during summer as we can, shall we? :)
goodbye seniors. ill miss you all. gosh. look at you guys. you guys are so mean that you make me cry. why are you leaving me like this? especially you. >:O why did you have to be concieved on valentines?? haha. that made me laugh when we were on that bed and i wasn't talking becuase i was so sad you were leaving. you make me laugh when im down. thank you. but that doesnt change that i love you and that im going to miss you so much. im going to miss being to talk to you whenever i want. im going to miss seeing you whenever i want. im going to miss seeing you after class ready to walk me to wherever we're going to go. im going to miss you. but im not going to keep you back. just make sure not to forget me, ok? im always going to remember you. and you'll always have a special place in my heart. as i hope i do in yours. goodbye. i know its summer. but it seems so close. goodbye soon. remember, no drugs. and like you said. experiment. and that's ok. just dont do the experimenting that will hurt me.
i love you! lets spend as much time during summer as we can, shall we? :)
June 11
listening to: felt mountain, goldfrapp
last day of school. it was great. i feel free and 'i dont have a care in the world', but you already probably read that on facebook, now havent you? or maybe not. maybe this is your first seeing it here on blogspot. you blogspotter. haha. currently im happy. im cloud nine happy. i couldnt be happier. :) but i can't help but have that nagging feeling...it wont last forever. and of course it probably wont, but im going to keep hoping. everyone around me doubt. i hope. and so does he. i pray that we do. i learn from others. i learn what to do and not do. and im taking that stuff to heart. no lies. :) and i keep saying. as long as hes happy im on top of the world. haha. i know this is corny, but what can i say? im a girl. most girls are corny giggly messes. well. im not a giggly mess. ew. haha. i know i keep talking/writing about this, and i promise ill stop that soon. but it will always be in my mind. i hope you're not reading this. haha. if for some reason you stalked down my blog and is now reading it...
but yes. this is how im doing. ive been wonderfully absolutely estactically happily great. and nothing right now is going to change it.
i want to have a fancy camera. i envy wilson. he's getting one. >:( :D
last day of school. it was great. i feel free and 'i dont have a care in the world', but you already probably read that on facebook, now havent you? or maybe not. maybe this is your first seeing it here on blogspot. you blogspotter. haha. currently im happy. im cloud nine happy. i couldnt be happier. :) but i can't help but have that nagging feeling...it wont last forever. and of course it probably wont, but im going to keep hoping. everyone around me doubt. i hope. and so does he. i pray that we do. i learn from others. i learn what to do and not do. and im taking that stuff to heart. no lies. :) and i keep saying. as long as hes happy im on top of the world. haha. i know this is corny, but what can i say? im a girl. most girls are corny giggly messes. well. im not a giggly mess. ew. haha. i know i keep talking/writing about this, and i promise ill stop that soon. but it will always be in my mind. i hope you're not reading this. haha. if for some reason you stalked down my blog and is now reading it...
but yes. this is how im doing. ive been wonderfully absolutely estactically happily great. and nothing right now is going to change it.
i want to have a fancy camera. i envy wilson. he's getting one. >:( :D
SHINee
ok, you know what Cindy, these boys are seriously hot. they have this urban thing going on. i just love it. Taemin is the prettiest. the one with the red colored hair. i can't wait to get thier next mini album, ROMEO.
June 7
listening to: nothing. i left my ipod at Jennifer's house.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! and CONGRADULATIONS to Jennifer, Dealarik, and Lorraine for making section leader! i gotta say, im really proud and happy for you guys. but i swear if you whip my butt next year...watch out. >:O but i'd probaby do whatever you guys say. inside of band that is...
i want to be more deep. im not deep, like, at all. i want to be that type of person that can tell what they're feeling, and have those right words that make thier thoughts so meaningful. in other words, i need to expand my vocabulary. and way to thinking. gosh. too hard. i dont like to think too hard. haha.
and i want to be more funny. yeah, im rambling. :) anyway, but i do. i dont make people laugh. i should try to be more funny. haha. hmmm...
SUPRISE SUPRISE! there's a suprise birthday today for my dad. yipee. my mom has no idea what the hell she's doing so this party's going to suck, but it's ok. i dont have my ipod. haha. jk. :) it should be a good party. the food's good, and we got everthing planned out. ed-leven park all day. up in the hills...near marsh road. i think im going to try and find marsh road. that should be fun. :D im going to go to marsh road with Perry when we have the time.
and reminds me, im so excited for summer. hopefully me and Perry will be able to go alot of places becuase he can drive now, but he's short on money so idk what we're going to do for gas. haha.
yep, four more days.
oh yeah! there's finals on the last day of school! wth? that sucks. :( that's a bad way to end the school year. stressing and boring classes. wow.
things to remember: bring ID card for the yearbook. do Perry's graduation preasent, and go to his graduation. :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD! and CONGRADULATIONS to Jennifer, Dealarik, and Lorraine for making section leader! i gotta say, im really proud and happy for you guys. but i swear if you whip my butt next year...watch out. >:O but i'd probaby do whatever you guys say. inside of band that is...
i want to be more deep. im not deep, like, at all. i want to be that type of person that can tell what they're feeling, and have those right words that make thier thoughts so meaningful. in other words, i need to expand my vocabulary. and way to thinking. gosh. too hard. i dont like to think too hard. haha.
and i want to be more funny. yeah, im rambling. :) anyway, but i do. i dont make people laugh. i should try to be more funny. haha. hmmm...
SUPRISE SUPRISE! there's a suprise birthday today for my dad. yipee. my mom has no idea what the hell she's doing so this party's going to suck, but it's ok. i dont have my ipod. haha. jk. :) it should be a good party. the food's good, and we got everthing planned out. ed-leven park all day. up in the hills...near marsh road. i think im going to try and find marsh road. that should be fun. :D im going to go to marsh road with Perry when we have the time.
and reminds me, im so excited for summer. hopefully me and Perry will be able to go alot of places becuase he can drive now, but he's short on money so idk what we're going to do for gas. haha.
yep, four more days.
oh yeah! there's finals on the last day of school! wth? that sucks. :( that's a bad way to end the school year. stressing and boring classes. wow.
things to remember: bring ID card for the yearbook. do Perry's graduation preasent, and go to his graduation. :)
June 4
listening to: About a Girl, The Academy Is...
I still blog. well. i guess no one's here anymore to actually read it. Lorraine's gone. who knows when Jen's going to blog again. Oh well. It's kind of sad, but its ok. I still have them in real life. :)
just an update: Seabiscuit is done. i'm over him. he never liked me. this year. he liked me last year though. me and him talked about it. Seabiscuit's involved in a 'friends for benefit' realationship now. which sort of pisses me off...but it's his life, you know? so...go ahead. i just hope you understand what you're getting yourself into. mmhm. i have a bf now. since May 22, 2009. i love him alot. he's sweet, handsome, funny, mature, caring, and soo tickilish. i love to tickle him. :D he come to ME and instead of ME going to others, which i really appreciate. i wonder if anyone will read this. but if not, its always here for me to come back to. :)
I still blog. well. i guess no one's here anymore to actually read it. Lorraine's gone. who knows when Jen's going to blog again. Oh well. It's kind of sad, but its ok. I still have them in real life. :)
just an update: Seabiscuit is done. i'm over him. he never liked me. this year. he liked me last year though. me and him talked about it. Seabiscuit's involved in a 'friends for benefit' realationship now. which sort of pisses me off...but it's his life, you know? so...go ahead. i just hope you understand what you're getting yourself into. mmhm. i have a bf now. since May 22, 2009. i love him alot. he's sweet, handsome, funny, mature, caring, and soo tickilish. i love to tickle him. :D he come to ME and instead of ME going to others, which i really appreciate. i wonder if anyone will read this. but if not, its always here for me to come back to. :)
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