listening to: 21 Guns, Green Day
this weekend was an interesting weekend. had a movie weekend with just Jennifer and Jessica. it's been awhile since it's been only the three of us. had lots of fun girly talk. :) you know, the guy talk. AHAHAH. make you curious?
we watched a bunch of movies. they were; The Strangers, Eternal Sunshin of the Spotless Mind, Darkness Falls, Atonement, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, and i left and now Jen and Jess are watching SilentHill. ahaha. those were good movies. all of them were good. anyway, stayed up watching movies all night, and stayed over at Jessica's watching movies. partway through the day, Jennifer got a phone call saying she was about a half hour late to her band rehearsal. -_- ahaha, id ont blame her for forgetting, i would have forgotten too if i were ahving fun. but still we went to SBSMA and spent some time there waiting for Jennifer to finish. Me and Jessica chilled in teh room and ate salami and cheese cracker sandwhiches. ehehe.
salami is so addicting.
anything i do with these two is always fun. :) this weekend was such a refresher for me. it kept my mind off of many things.
before that, i went out with Anna and Tim on saturday in the morning. me and Anna watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. OMG. that movie is just as good as the first time. Anna loved it. and many other things in that movie. ahaha. secrets secrets. dont worry, i wont blab. ;)
anyway, im back at 530 and im so tired...sleep deprived. AHA. but i need to do lots of homeowork. i lied to my dad and said i didn have that much so i could stay out longer. :(
argh, geez. i hate homework. it's so friggin hard to crack open the stupid text book.
08.28.09 Amber
listening to: Pretty Boy, 2NE1
so there's this new Kpop girl group coming out called f(x). there's this one girl in it named Amber. she's known for her strong vocal and rapping skills. and her indivisual style. the first time i saw her, i thought she was a guy. but she's really pretty. she's Chinese-American and from Orange County, California. that's pretty close to me. im really interested int his group. SNSD's leader, Jessica's younger sister, Krystal is in it. anyway, Amber's my favorite. here's a picture of her:
so there's this new Kpop girl group coming out called f(x). there's this one girl in it named Amber. she's known for her strong vocal and rapping skills. and her indivisual style. the first time i saw her, i thought she was a guy. but she's really pretty. she's Chinese-American and from Orange County, California. that's pretty close to me. im really interested int his group. SNSD's leader, Jessica's younger sister, Krystal is in it. anyway, Amber's my favorite. here's a picture of her:
08.28.09
listening to: Abracadabra, Brown Eyed Girls
today i was walking through Safeway and i saw this elderly couple walking down an isle together. and they were asian. and what you have to know about asians, is that they dont display emotions. at least, the generation before me. it's not a part of our 'culture' and it's not 'expected' of us to display love happiness or excitement. the only emotion that ive seen other than this is anger.
but these two...they were so happy. you could tell. i mean. the guy was still feeling the woman up. -_____- im not a perv. i wasnt checking it out, but it was so sweet. it made me smile. x) i followed them awhile for awhile. i admired them really. i hope ill end up like that someday. wouldnt everybody? :)
this song's lyrics are really real. if you've heard this song, cool. but im only posting the main verses. they're the ones that have the real meaning in it.
epik high's Love Love Love:
Verse 1:
Have you ever been in love before?
Falling at first sight, like in the movies?
Spent the entire night talking on the phone?
Bragged to the entire world?
Waited in the pouring rain?
Run like crazy to the one you love?
Secretly guarded?
Gone crazy?
Pretended not to see when you really did?
Verse 2:
I’m sure you have been in love
Spent all your money on your anniversary
Apologized even when you didn’t do anything wrong
Spent entire days writing love letters
Verse 3:
Pushed back promises with your family
Prayed to God for that persons health
Ignored your friends
Missed them
Guarded their leaving figure
Verse 4:
Have you ever had your heart broken?
Had your makeup wash off in the pouring rain?
Cut your long hair?
Started smoking again?
Avoided areas where they might be?
Wrote letters you know you would never send?
Called them while you were drunk?
(Hello?)
Had your lips freeze up
Verse 5:
I’m sure you've had a broken heart
Hated them as much as you loved them
Ripped up letters you didn’t read
Deleted the phone number you will never forget
Celebrated anniversaries by yourself
Burned all the photographs
Thought every song about heartbreak in the world was yours
Verse 6:
Cry like an idiot
Get drunk again
Hold on to your friend
And curse that person
Time passes
Get drunk again
Grab the phone
Say love!
---
time passes. everything will get better.
"Thought every song about heartbreak in the world was yours"
get over yourself. there comes a time when you HAVE to stop rolling around and crying out, 'poor me!'. learn to give it time and let it pass. for good.
today i was walking through Safeway and i saw this elderly couple walking down an isle together. and they were asian. and what you have to know about asians, is that they dont display emotions. at least, the generation before me. it's not a part of our 'culture' and it's not 'expected' of us to display love happiness or excitement. the only emotion that ive seen other than this is anger.
but these two...they were so happy. you could tell. i mean. the guy was still feeling the woman up. -_____- im not a perv. i wasnt checking it out, but it was so sweet. it made me smile. x) i followed them awhile for awhile. i admired them really. i hope ill end up like that someday. wouldnt everybody? :)
this song's lyrics are really real. if you've heard this song, cool. but im only posting the main verses. they're the ones that have the real meaning in it.
epik high's Love Love Love:
Verse 1:
Have you ever been in love before?
Falling at first sight, like in the movies?
Spent the entire night talking on the phone?
Bragged to the entire world?
Waited in the pouring rain?
Run like crazy to the one you love?
Secretly guarded?
Gone crazy?
Pretended not to see when you really did?
Verse 2:
I’m sure you have been in love
Spent all your money on your anniversary
Apologized even when you didn’t do anything wrong
Spent entire days writing love letters
Verse 3:
Pushed back promises with your family
Prayed to God for that persons health
Ignored your friends
Missed them
Guarded their leaving figure
Verse 4:
Have you ever had your heart broken?
Had your makeup wash off in the pouring rain?
Cut your long hair?
Started smoking again?
Avoided areas where they might be?
Wrote letters you know you would never send?
Called them while you were drunk?
(Hello?)
Had your lips freeze up
Verse 5:
I’m sure you've had a broken heart
Hated them as much as you loved them
Ripped up letters you didn’t read
Deleted the phone number you will never forget
Celebrated anniversaries by yourself
Burned all the photographs
Thought every song about heartbreak in the world was yours
Verse 6:
Cry like an idiot
Get drunk again
Hold on to your friend
And curse that person
Time passes
Get drunk again
Grab the phone
Say love!
---
time passes. everything will get better.
"Thought every song about heartbreak in the world was yours"
get over yourself. there comes a time when you HAVE to stop rolling around and crying out, 'poor me!'. learn to give it time and let it pass. for good.
08.26.09
listening to: I Gotta Feeling, Black Eyed Peas
sometimes i just get that feeling that makes me want to dig deep down in my insides, take out my real feelings, and scream, 'FCK IT!' to the world. but i know saying taht would hurt you and everyone else around me, so im sticking through it. dammit. but have i ever thought about what would happen on this other side of the stick? fck this and this. im done. i want to. but im not. what am i doing with my life. and this time im serious.
"Laugh and the whole world laughs with you weep and you weep alone" - Frank Yau
sometimes i just get that feeling that makes me want to dig deep down in my insides, take out my real feelings, and scream, 'FCK IT!' to the world. but i know saying taht would hurt you and everyone else around me, so im sticking through it. dammit. but have i ever thought about what would happen on this other side of the stick? fck this and this. im done. i want to. but im not. what am i doing with my life. and this time im serious.
"Laugh and the whole world laughs with you weep and you weep alone" - Frank Yau
08.25.09 zero period
listening to: Crazy Love, DBSK
unnnghhh... i hate zero period. every second im in it, a piece of me dies. T3T i was so tired today. i fell asleep three times in precal class. ahaha. that's a new record for me. it's really hard for me to fall asleep. im willing to put the effort into waking up at 6 every day and getting to school every day at 7. it shouldn't be that hard. today though, they made us get to school at 7, and then after like, 20 minutes, the PE teacher was like, 'ok, you're dismissed!' WOW. i could have slept in for another half hour. ehhh. :l
but then again, i like PE. ahaha.
yep. nothing happened today. i got my American Apparal jacket! i love it! Maggie looked so cute today holding all of them. x)
i got a mauve jacket. idk if anyone else has the color, that's why i got it. o.o
i dont like following mainstream. that's a load of BS.
more APUSH. quiz tomorrow. oh boy. that'll be fun. prepping for it. reading ch. 2, 3, 4 and 5.
oh yeah. i burned my arm today. again. spilled some boiling water on it. :(
klutz for life.
oh yeah! today was my best friend, Cindy's birthday! happy 16th! i owe you a raincheck. ahaha. i love you! im glad i got to spend these past three years getting to know you. :) smores and best friends for life! MOH. im glad you're that type of friend taht can tell me anything without being afraid of hurting my feelings. that is one thing i value most in a person. if they are willing to tell me straight up and not hide it from me, becuase how else am i supposed to change for the better? if words like taht came from anyone else, i would have taken it offensivly. like if my breath stank, or if the pants i wore i looked fat in (you've said that to me once) but not from you. becuase i know you only tell those things to me becuase you want to help me and you love me. and i do the same for you. we've stuck with each other through thick and thin, and you're the strongest girl i know. i love CINDY sooo much! (consider this part of your present, im poor) and of course i look forward to the future i spend with you. ahahah, and yes, you are my child's godmother. and no you cannot rename my child.
:) maybe someday you'll find an unexpected surprise waiting in our locker...
unnnghhh... i hate zero period. every second im in it, a piece of me dies. T3T i was so tired today. i fell asleep three times in precal class. ahaha. that's a new record for me. it's really hard for me to fall asleep. im willing to put the effort into waking up at 6 every day and getting to school every day at 7. it shouldn't be that hard. today though, they made us get to school at 7, and then after like, 20 minutes, the PE teacher was like, 'ok, you're dismissed!' WOW. i could have slept in for another half hour. ehhh. :l
but then again, i like PE. ahaha.
yep. nothing happened today. i got my American Apparal jacket! i love it! Maggie looked so cute today holding all of them. x)
i got a mauve jacket. idk if anyone else has the color, that's why i got it. o.o
i dont like following mainstream. that's a load of BS.
more APUSH. quiz tomorrow. oh boy. that'll be fun. prepping for it. reading ch. 2, 3, 4 and 5.
oh yeah. i burned my arm today. again. spilled some boiling water on it. :(
klutz for life.
oh yeah! today was my best friend, Cindy's birthday! happy 16th! i owe you a raincheck. ahaha. i love you! im glad i got to spend these past three years getting to know you. :) smores and best friends for life! MOH. im glad you're that type of friend taht can tell me anything without being afraid of hurting my feelings. that is one thing i value most in a person. if they are willing to tell me straight up and not hide it from me, becuase how else am i supposed to change for the better? if words like taht came from anyone else, i would have taken it offensivly. like if my breath stank, or if the pants i wore i looked fat in (you've said that to me once) but not from you. becuase i know you only tell those things to me becuase you want to help me and you love me. and i do the same for you. we've stuck with each other through thick and thin, and you're the strongest girl i know. i love CINDY sooo much! (consider this part of your present, im poor) and of course i look forward to the future i spend with you. ahahah, and yes, you are my child's godmother. and no you cannot rename my child.
:) maybe someday you'll find an unexpected surprise waiting in our locker...
08.24.09 pt. 2
listening to: AIM IMs.
i am such a klutz. it's kinda painful and hilarious at the same time. what happened so far...
1. burned myself with a tidal wave of hot boiling oil. i now have a burn scar on my arm.
2. lost my glasses
3. cut my toe by tripping over a jewelry box. might have a scar.
4. sat down and rammed my face into the laptop. how does that happen??
and i have stubbed my toe so many times this past day.
wow. holy moly. IM A KLUTZ. o.o
dang. i might die from all of this stuff. i might one day sleepwalk and fall off a cliff and impale myself on a bunch of rocks and die. omgosh! :O
ahaha. this is fun. but painful. ouch.
i am such a klutz. it's kinda painful and hilarious at the same time. what happened so far...
1. burned myself with a tidal wave of hot boiling oil. i now have a burn scar on my arm.
2. lost my glasses
3. cut my toe by tripping over a jewelry box. might have a scar.
4. sat down and rammed my face into the laptop. how does that happen??
and i have stubbed my toe so many times this past day.
wow. holy moly. IM A KLUTZ. o.o
dang. i might die from all of this stuff. i might one day sleepwalk and fall off a cliff and impale myself on a bunch of rocks and die. omgosh! :O
ahaha. this is fun. but painful. ouch.
08.24.09
listening to: nothing. STUDY TIME.
first day of school today! august 23, 2009. wow. im a junior. it's amaaazing. at the same time though, i get that huge feeling of exhaustion. im excited though. but im ready to step it up this year. im still not done studying, it's 8:25 PM. ive never studied this late before. and it's probably going to get later. ahaha. im proud of myself. now if i can make past the first day and continue this for the whole year...
i admire you seniors. how did you do it?
im ok with this year's classes. band was soo fun. i dont have any classes with smore'. :( but it's ok. we're sharing a locker. ahaha. dont have alot of friends in a lot of classes, but hey. i dont have a lot of friends. x) i really really like my first period teacher. he's hilarious! ahaha. i love his coca cola collection. so funny.
i have the same math teacher i had freshman year. :l she doesnt like me...but oh well. i got a good grade in her class freshman year, ALLYSON CAN DO IT AGAIN. ahaha.
and then after school the band had marching band practice. that was fun. but i didnt get the march that much becuase of my toe. and when i did, it started to bleed. ew. ahaha. it was like i put on a show for everyone after practice. everyone wanted to see my toe. xD
i should name it. not the name axell gave it anyhow...
well. i guess ill just have to wait and see what the year has in store for me. hopefully good things. good things. :D
lalala~ i want to write a song. really i do...but what about? alby liao, you inspire me... :)
first day of school today! august 23, 2009. wow. im a junior. it's amaaazing. at the same time though, i get that huge feeling of exhaustion. im excited though. but im ready to step it up this year. im still not done studying, it's 8:25 PM. ive never studied this late before. and it's probably going to get later. ahaha. im proud of myself. now if i can make past the first day and continue this for the whole year...
i admire you seniors. how did you do it?
im ok with this year's classes. band was soo fun. i dont have any classes with smore'. :( but it's ok. we're sharing a locker. ahaha. dont have alot of friends in a lot of classes, but hey. i dont have a lot of friends. x) i really really like my first period teacher. he's hilarious! ahaha. i love his coca cola collection. so funny.
i have the same math teacher i had freshman year. :l she doesnt like me...but oh well. i got a good grade in her class freshman year, ALLYSON CAN DO IT AGAIN. ahaha.
and then after school the band had marching band practice. that was fun. but i didnt get the march that much becuase of my toe. and when i did, it started to bleed. ew. ahaha. it was like i put on a show for everyone after practice. everyone wanted to see my toe. xD
i should name it. not the name axell gave it anyhow...
well. i guess ill just have to wait and see what the year has in store for me. hopefully good things. good things. :D
lalala~ i want to write a song. really i do...but what about? alby liao, you inspire me... :)
08.23.09
listening to: Bounce, The Cab
PASSION: 1. an outburst of strong emotion or feeling 2. a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music. 3. the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one's nature or one's customary behavior (contrasted with action ).
i wish i had a passion for something. i find myself pulling a blank on everything. friends. music. school. anything. nothing.
"A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm" - Charles R. Schwab
PASSION: 1. an outburst of strong emotion or feeling 2. a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music. 3. the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one's nature or one's customary behavior (contrasted with action ).
i wish i had a passion for something. i find myself pulling a blank on everything. friends. music. school. anything. nothing.
"A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm" - Charles R. Schwab
08.22.09 pt. 2
listening to: 누난 너무 예뻐, SHINee
today was the fateful day. i learned how to drive. kind of. i thank perry. he risked his life and his car for the sake of teaching me the basics. i learned how to reverse, park, turn, etc. driving is harder than it looks. i now have a new found respect for all people that drive. i pay attention now on how drivers drive. i was observing my mom. :) driving is fun though. i was a little scared and kinda bad at first. but then it got better. i like it. i can't wait till i get my permit and can start driving legally.
along with today i watched Hidden Dragon Crouching Tiger, i dont know if it's the other way around, but it was a good movie. perry already watched it, so he was telling me when all the cool fight scenes were comming up. those ladies amaze me. it makes me want to make my children when i have them start martial arts. after that, perry took me out to drive, then we went to subway and just chilled. it was a good day. :) i finally was able to give him the present i wanted to give him. im happy he liked it. at least. im sure he did. :O
i scraped my toe up against this jewelry box my pa-pa gave me, and i scraped a huge chunk of my toe off. a lot of skin is missing under my toe nail. it hurts. :( and i was freaking out. i was crying and screaming huddled in the bathroom corner and my mom came running. she was trying to clean me up but i was freaking out too much. i was kinda hysterical. -___- blood+allyson does not = happy camper. there was so much blood... it was running down my foot and all over the carpet and bathroom floor. idk. i can watch those horror movies, but i can't watch my own toe bleed. ugh.
anyway, two more days till school starts. im happy and not. i wont be able to see perry as much...but ill get to finally see cindy after so many months. ahaha. i wont be able to wear sandals/flipflops becuase of my toe...unless i want everyone to see the four band-aids i put on it. no thanks.
STILL havent finished APUSH. god. GOSH GOLLY. <--- for maggie. idk what im doing with my life. why did i even sign up for APUSH.get a hold of yourself allyson! >:)
tired. i think im going to clock out now. all the crying and screaming over my toe tired me out. ahaha. APUSH TOMORROW. no lie. gotta do it. no excuses! no procrastination! maybe ill sleep in tomorrow...
today was the fateful day. i learned how to drive. kind of. i thank perry. he risked his life and his car for the sake of teaching me the basics. i learned how to reverse, park, turn, etc. driving is harder than it looks. i now have a new found respect for all people that drive. i pay attention now on how drivers drive. i was observing my mom. :) driving is fun though. i was a little scared and kinda bad at first. but then it got better. i like it. i can't wait till i get my permit and can start driving legally.
along with today i watched Hidden Dragon Crouching Tiger, i dont know if it's the other way around, but it was a good movie. perry already watched it, so he was telling me when all the cool fight scenes were comming up. those ladies amaze me. it makes me want to make my children when i have them start martial arts. after that, perry took me out to drive, then we went to subway and just chilled. it was a good day. :) i finally was able to give him the present i wanted to give him. im happy he liked it. at least. im sure he did. :O
i scraped my toe up against this jewelry box my pa-pa gave me, and i scraped a huge chunk of my toe off. a lot of skin is missing under my toe nail. it hurts. :( and i was freaking out. i was crying and screaming huddled in the bathroom corner and my mom came running. she was trying to clean me up but i was freaking out too much. i was kinda hysterical. -___- blood+allyson does not = happy camper. there was so much blood... it was running down my foot and all over the carpet and bathroom floor. idk. i can watch those horror movies, but i can't watch my own toe bleed. ugh.
anyway, two more days till school starts. im happy and not. i wont be able to see perry as much...but ill get to finally see cindy after so many months. ahaha. i wont be able to wear sandals/flipflops becuase of my toe...unless i want everyone to see the four band-aids i put on it. no thanks.
STILL havent finished APUSH. god. GOSH GOLLY. <--- for maggie. idk what im doing with my life. why did i even sign up for APUSH.get a hold of yourself allyson! >:)
tired. i think im going to clock out now. all the crying and screaming over my toe tired me out. ahaha. APUSH TOMORROW. no lie. gotta do it. no excuses! no procrastination! maybe ill sleep in tomorrow...
08.22.09
listening to: Gara Gara Go!, Big Bang
this was awhile go, but on friday i went to registration. that was fun. i got to see (kinda) everyone. (not really) i only really saw anna, bryan, and cindy. everyone else i saw again in band for practice. my schedule i forgot. i wish everyone would stop asking me, and then telling me im dumb for forgetting. at least i had the decency to tell you i forgot, right? x)
there's not really anything going on right now two days before school starts. im really behind in my sleep. i dont know how im going to survive a whole year of zero period. i start at 7 o'clock am. that sucks.
i swear if anyone messes with me ill shank you. or poeund you if you're an axell. :) ahaha. all i know so far is that i have zero period PE, fourth period band, third period chinese, and fifth period precal. Junior year. huh. hope it treats me well.
i still ahvent finished AP. gross. i need to finish that soon... school starts on monday. if i dont have my notes/answers/studying done im screwed.
there are days when i wonder if im worth living around for. if i die, would any of you guys care? you know waht im so happy about now though? that im finally starting to realize you guys actually care. and that makes me so happy. im not going to apologize. i mean, i say sorry too much. from now on, im not going to apologize. im going to thank. kapeesh? :)
perry's going to pick me up in exactly 51 minutes, and i still havent even started to get ready. ... i kinda dont want to go out today, but perry's there, so it's ok. ahaha. im such a lazy asssss, i dont even want to go outside becuase im really dark. and im not black. albert. >:) im not going to even name my black name that albert and maggie named me. it's rediculously dumb. ahaha. anyway, i got to go. get ready for when perry picks me up. movie day! whooo
happy 3 months today. :)
this was awhile go, but on friday i went to registration. that was fun. i got to see (kinda) everyone. (not really) i only really saw anna, bryan, and cindy. everyone else i saw again in band for practice. my schedule i forgot. i wish everyone would stop asking me, and then telling me im dumb for forgetting. at least i had the decency to tell you i forgot, right? x)
there's not really anything going on right now two days before school starts. im really behind in my sleep. i dont know how im going to survive a whole year of zero period. i start at 7 o'clock am. that sucks.
i swear if anyone messes with me ill shank you. or poeund you if you're an axell. :) ahaha. all i know so far is that i have zero period PE, fourth period band, third period chinese, and fifth period precal. Junior year. huh. hope it treats me well.
i still ahvent finished AP. gross. i need to finish that soon... school starts on monday. if i dont have my notes/answers/studying done im screwed.
there are days when i wonder if im worth living around for. if i die, would any of you guys care? you know waht im so happy about now though? that im finally starting to realize you guys actually care. and that makes me so happy. im not going to apologize. i mean, i say sorry too much. from now on, im not going to apologize. im going to thank. kapeesh? :)
perry's going to pick me up in exactly 51 minutes, and i still havent even started to get ready. ... i kinda dont want to go out today, but perry's there, so it's ok. ahaha. im such a lazy asssss, i dont even want to go outside becuase im really dark. and im not black. albert. >:) im not going to even name my black name that albert and maggie named me. it's rediculously dumb. ahaha. anyway, i got to go. get ready for when perry picks me up. movie day! whooo
happy 3 months today. :)
08.16.09
listening to: Love Drunk, Boys Like Girls
sooo..one of my friends Vince is engaged. WOOOW. him and hin fiancee are sooo sweet. you guys make me sick. -_______-. so many 'i love you!'s going around. ahah. im just kidding. i think those two are soo cute. im happy for you guys. i wish you guys the best. just getting it out there. dont want to break up your chains of love letters to each other on FB. ahaha! and i hope everything goes well for Monica in the end. :)
on another note, a bad note, GD dyed his hair! :O why?! now it's blond. ewww...truthfully. look!
i dont know. i think ever since he's come out of depression, he's been a little coocoo. ahaha. wierd clothes, wierd hair, weird makeup, wierd everything. kinda scary. ahhaha. this is how he used to look like (it's him with seungri): 
kinda scary. :( ahaha, sorry, i just had to get that out there.
there are a lot of things going on for me now. band camp, APUSH, a relationship, friends, and of course my spiritual life. and on top of that, there's a lot of jealousy going through me right now. well, not jealousy, but more like, 'why them. they're really not that great as people make them out to be' and sort of, i get the feeling people take avantage of me. they'll use me as a friend, and then just drop me when convenient. and not many people do that to me, but still. it hurts, no matter who the person. im glad i have such good friends who'll stick by me no matter what. but still, those friends have thier problems, OUR problems. and sometimes i wish we could just drop them, but taht would be unfair to everyone, and so i dont wish so say it aloud. let's just say, i want to do whatever is necessary to work things out.
im sort of like jen. i dont really want to be in the drama. but im here for you guys, ill love you guys every step of the way. and ill be standing right next to you, and you guys can go ahead and treat me like your pillow; hit me, yell to me, vent to me, scream to me, and ill still be here. well. dont hit me please. that would hurt. but you know what im saying. i hope.
i wish the best to kirsten. im not taking sides. i support her. she's strong, and im glad she can be above others and state her opinion strongly. go kirsten! ahahaha
but i also get kikay. i wish you guys would stop whipering. just talk. say it to our faces. there is too much whispers. dont be cowards. we're all friends here.
i dont really want to go on. but. what i say is all true. and if you're bothering to read this, then please take this to heart. becuase i hope you're as serious about this as i am. as serious as wanting others to be happy as i am. if not, then you're not worth having as a friend. what kind of friend in this world wouldn't want thier's to be happy? huh. you tell me.
sooo..one of my friends Vince is engaged. WOOOW. him and hin fiancee are sooo sweet. you guys make me sick. -_______-. so many 'i love you!'s going around. ahah. im just kidding. i think those two are soo cute. im happy for you guys. i wish you guys the best. just getting it out there. dont want to break up your chains of love letters to each other on FB. ahaha! and i hope everything goes well for Monica in the end. :)
on another note, a bad note, GD dyed his hair! :O why?! now it's blond. ewww...truthfully. look!
i dont know. i think ever since he's come out of depression, he's been a little coocoo. ahaha. wierd clothes, wierd hair, weird makeup, wierd everything. kinda scary. ahhaha. this is how he used to look like (it's him with seungri): 
kinda scary. :( ahaha, sorry, i just had to get that out there.there are a lot of things going on for me now. band camp, APUSH, a relationship, friends, and of course my spiritual life. and on top of that, there's a lot of jealousy going through me right now. well, not jealousy, but more like, 'why them. they're really not that great as people make them out to be' and sort of, i get the feeling people take avantage of me. they'll use me as a friend, and then just drop me when convenient. and not many people do that to me, but still. it hurts, no matter who the person. im glad i have such good friends who'll stick by me no matter what. but still, those friends have thier problems, OUR problems. and sometimes i wish we could just drop them, but taht would be unfair to everyone, and so i dont wish so say it aloud. let's just say, i want to do whatever is necessary to work things out.
im sort of like jen. i dont really want to be in the drama. but im here for you guys, ill love you guys every step of the way. and ill be standing right next to you, and you guys can go ahead and treat me like your pillow; hit me, yell to me, vent to me, scream to me, and ill still be here. well. dont hit me please. that would hurt. but you know what im saying. i hope.
i wish the best to kirsten. im not taking sides. i support her. she's strong, and im glad she can be above others and state her opinion strongly. go kirsten! ahahaha
but i also get kikay. i wish you guys would stop whipering. just talk. say it to our faces. there is too much whispers. dont be cowards. we're all friends here.
i dont really want to go on. but. what i say is all true. and if you're bothering to read this, then please take this to heart. becuase i hope you're as serious about this as i am. as serious as wanting others to be happy as i am. if not, then you're not worth having as a friend. what kind of friend in this world wouldn't want thier's to be happy? huh. you tell me.
08.15.09
listening to: 愛你愛你 (Love Song), Super Junior-M
well. lost my glasses. word gets around fast, though. maybe you already heard. anyway, im half blind. i can't really see what im typing right now, sorry if there's typos.
band camp is soo fun. well, it's starting to get fun since we're finally starting on our drill. our show is really cool, but super hard. a lot of circles, and curves. oh! guess what maggie? in the part when the rectangle shifts (do you know what im talking about?) our line is the only line dosent move. you and me are in with the low brass, only me and you. the rest of the woodwinds have to move. >:D suckerrrs. ahaha. i hope we actually look good though. ive never been in a circle before. it's hard to guide down. :(
well, im just chillin at home. i have to go to YG soon. i dont know how the heck im gonna survive going there. i can't see anything. and idk if anyone i know goes there anymore. im going to be so lonellyyy.
there's really nothing to say. only that my moods are like a rainbow. up and down. in many different colors and shades.
anyway, i want to sleep. fuzzy eyesight=very tired allyson. :D
well. lost my glasses. word gets around fast, though. maybe you already heard. anyway, im half blind. i can't really see what im typing right now, sorry if there's typos.
band camp is soo fun. well, it's starting to get fun since we're finally starting on our drill. our show is really cool, but super hard. a lot of circles, and curves. oh! guess what maggie? in the part when the rectangle shifts (do you know what im talking about?) our line is the only line dosent move. you and me are in with the low brass, only me and you. the rest of the woodwinds have to move. >:D suckerrrs. ahaha. i hope we actually look good though. ive never been in a circle before. it's hard to guide down. :(
well, im just chillin at home. i have to go to YG soon. i dont know how the heck im gonna survive going there. i can't see anything. and idk if anyone i know goes there anymore. im going to be so lonellyyy.
there's really nothing to say. only that my moods are like a rainbow. up and down. in many different colors and shades.
anyway, i want to sleep. fuzzy eyesight=very tired allyson. :D
08.10.09
watching: teen choice awards
if i'm not apart of you guys, then why do you say i am and then when we all go home and shut the doors, everything becomes distant? there are only two people in the world that i can trust that this will never happen to me. those people are true friends no matter who the person. and i appreciate taht and will treasure them with all my heart forever. i feel like my friends are dwinling one by one. and i admit, im guilty for being just like them. distant over phone, two faced in person. and i hate it. but what can you do when everyone else is like that to you?
do you know who you are? am i REALLY your friend? hmmmm...
i mean. i wonder. where does my trust lie...?
dealarik, you do what you need to do. i want you to be happy and i wish that with all my heart. ill be sad to see you gone. but when you come back, i hope you thought things through and you are clear and happy. you of all people i respect and trust and are one of my closest friends. you, and people like that dont deserve to go through such cruel situations. it's noone fault. it happens. and you do what you need to do to straighten it out and make yourself happy. if you change, at least YOU'RE happy. i dont want to lose this relationship with you though. i hope we'll still be able to still lean on each other as much as we do now in the future.
im going to miss you. miss you so much. but like you said, ill be here like you'll be here, and ill tell you what i think. ill follow through on my word. so dont worry about me. ok? :) let's aim to be happy!
if i'm not apart of you guys, then why do you say i am and then when we all go home and shut the doors, everything becomes distant? there are only two people in the world that i can trust that this will never happen to me. those people are true friends no matter who the person. and i appreciate taht and will treasure them with all my heart forever. i feel like my friends are dwinling one by one. and i admit, im guilty for being just like them. distant over phone, two faced in person. and i hate it. but what can you do when everyone else is like that to you?
do you know who you are? am i REALLY your friend? hmmmm...
i mean. i wonder. where does my trust lie...?
dealarik, you do what you need to do. i want you to be happy and i wish that with all my heart. ill be sad to see you gone. but when you come back, i hope you thought things through and you are clear and happy. you of all people i respect and trust and are one of my closest friends. you, and people like that dont deserve to go through such cruel situations. it's noone fault. it happens. and you do what you need to do to straighten it out and make yourself happy. if you change, at least YOU'RE happy. i dont want to lose this relationship with you though. i hope we'll still be able to still lean on each other as much as we do now in the future.
im going to miss you. miss you so much. but like you said, ill be here like you'll be here, and ill tell you what i think. ill follow through on my word. so dont worry about me. ok? :) let's aim to be happy!
08.02.09
listening to: Heartbeat, Stero Skyline
today i was reading an online asian blog. (dang, i'm turning hella asian) and i came across this bunny thing that this one celebrity made and it's not a craze. it's called tamtam and its soooo cute. i want to make one.
i used to make a bunch of pillows and stuffed animals like this. but this is by far the cutest. ill probably start when i get back. x) how cuuuute.
yesterday...or...two days ago was tim's birthday party. that was a lot of fun. no lie. the food was great. and everyone was talking and it was great. italian happy birthday song! that was hilarious. me and jen couldn't shut up. and maggie and me chose a great dessert. it was berries topped with some kind of sorbet.
and then i slept over at maggie's. that was also fun. we slept over in her RV. she got scared (she clames i got scared. yeah right.) ahaha. and she slept in the same bed with me. which was actually the table. :O we stayed up watching kiki's delivery service and anastasia. then the next day was the pool party. that was also a load of fun. geez, i had alot of fun this weekend, huh. fun fun fun.
and i also participated Kohl's Care for Kids. i'm really glad i did that. it made me happy helping a kid. and no. im not a pedo. AXELL. my little boy was Harry. awwww. so cuuute. x) we got him everything he needed for school and some extra shirts he wanted. we had to keep running back for more stuff becuase we had so much extra money. me and axell were trying to avoid this one girl. really funny. x)
at the end of the day though...well, not really, i was so tired. i went home and SLEPT for a long time. axell fricking woke me nup 5:05 in the morning. but i'm glad he did. i would have overslept for sure. ahaha.
well, i'm leaving tomorrow. not really looking forward to it, but what can i say? family vaca. i'm really really going to miss milpitas. i dont like leaving home. :( i almost couldn't stand going camping. ahaha. i was only able to bear with it becuase my best friends were there. x) but yeah, going around cali in a car. a convertable to be exact. all weekend long. .... not taht fun. listening to my brother's R&B and Rap. ewwwww. get my iPod, fosho. ahahha. but at least i have my phonee. i'll be calling everyone up. i'll especially miss Perry like crazy. hopefully i'll come back and my emotions will be so pent up the moment i see him i'll just jump on him! ahahahahahhaa. not likely. ehhh.
ill make sure to say goodbye to you tonight. wait for my call. :D
today i was reading an online asian blog. (dang, i'm turning hella asian) and i came across this bunny thing that this one celebrity made and it's not a craze. it's called tamtam and its soooo cute. i want to make one.
i used to make a bunch of pillows and stuffed animals like this. but this is by far the cutest. ill probably start when i get back. x) how cuuuute.yesterday...or...two days ago was tim's birthday party. that was a lot of fun. no lie. the food was great. and everyone was talking and it was great. italian happy birthday song! that was hilarious. me and jen couldn't shut up. and maggie and me chose a great dessert. it was berries topped with some kind of sorbet.
and then i slept over at maggie's. that was also fun. we slept over in her RV. she got scared (she clames i got scared. yeah right.) ahaha. and she slept in the same bed with me. which was actually the table. :O we stayed up watching kiki's delivery service and anastasia. then the next day was the pool party. that was also a load of fun. geez, i had alot of fun this weekend, huh. fun fun fun.
and i also participated Kohl's Care for Kids. i'm really glad i did that. it made me happy helping a kid. and no. im not a pedo. AXELL. my little boy was Harry. awwww. so cuuute. x) we got him everything he needed for school and some extra shirts he wanted. we had to keep running back for more stuff becuase we had so much extra money. me and axell were trying to avoid this one girl. really funny. x)
at the end of the day though...well, not really, i was so tired. i went home and SLEPT for a long time. axell fricking woke me nup 5:05 in the morning. but i'm glad he did. i would have overslept for sure. ahaha.
well, i'm leaving tomorrow. not really looking forward to it, but what can i say? family vaca. i'm really really going to miss milpitas. i dont like leaving home. :( i almost couldn't stand going camping. ahaha. i was only able to bear with it becuase my best friends were there. x) but yeah, going around cali in a car. a convertable to be exact. all weekend long. .... not taht fun. listening to my brother's R&B and Rap. ewwwww. get my iPod, fosho. ahahha. but at least i have my phonee. i'll be calling everyone up. i'll especially miss Perry like crazy. hopefully i'll come back and my emotions will be so pent up the moment i see him i'll just jump on him! ahahahahahhaa. not likely. ehhh.
ill make sure to say goodbye to you tonight. wait for my call. :D
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